French Paparazzo Claims WaPo Will Break Obama/Beyonc� Affair; Is Probably Just Projecting
Ever since the President of France was caught cheating on his partner of seven years � with a gorgeous French movie star, no less � the world�s been obsessed with imagining world leaders having affairs with hot women from the entertainment industry. (See: the recent Bill Clinton/Liz Hurley rumors.) But now, a famous French photographer just upped the presidential fan fiction ante with his claims that Barack Obama is having an affair with noted hot entertainer Beyonc� � and that the Washington Post is going to break this story. Oh! And he�s supposedly getting divorced from Michelle Obama, too!(He�s totally not running Francois Hollande�s scandal through Microsoft Word and replacing �Hollande� with �Obama�. Nope. Not at all.)
Controversial paparazzo Pascal Rostain is so sure of his scoop, he�s claiming that we�re going to hear about it , like, tomorrow. �It�ll go out tomorrow in the Washington Post,� he said earlier today, according to Le Figaro. �[So] we can not say that it is the gutter press [reporting] on [an] alleged affair.�
A gutter spokesperson for the Post told Poynter that the paper was �definitely not� running a sexxxy article about Barack and Beyonc� Doing It, and if they were, they weren�t planning on running anything that hot tomorrow. This is disappointing, because that would mean that there was someone at the Postcool enough to get that close to Yonc�.
But of course, Rostain�s evidence is foolproof � he saw photos of the Obamas at public events, and Barack Obama totally looked like he had had sex with Beyonc� at some point in his life. �There are [photographs and] television images of the Obamas [in which they are] a little distant,� he said, adding that he �found the same thing [in images] between Holland and [former girlfriend Val�rie] Trierweiler.�
To truly make this story French wish fulfillment, though, the affair would have been conducted in Rostain�s apartment, because the first affair between Hollande and Trierweiler was also conducted in Rostain�s apartment.
(Serious note: there�s only one way to definitively conclude whether a person has had sex with Beyonc�, and that is if that person brags about it in a song featuring Beyonc�.)
